"To My Mother"

Mother’s Day is the single busiest visitation day for cemeteries near and far. Saying this, it is a bittersweet one for many as they come to the cemetery to celebrate the memory and adoration for a mother, grandmother, step-mother, or maternal-figure. It also ends a high stress period for cemetery superintendents as they have been scrambling to have their respective grounds looking their best at a time when May showers can play havoc with maintenance crews’ ability to mow and trim grass.
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Burial grounds like Mount Olivet serve as vivid reminders of how people feel about their maternal figures, who these women were in life, and how the family chose to remember them after death through grave markers and memorial headstones. Like a mother herself caring for her children, cemeteries are regarded as sacred places entrusted with respectfully caring for deceased individuals, along with the preservation of shared history.

A couple years back, I spotted a particular gravestone in Mount Olivet that gave me inspiration for a great Mother’s Day FaceBook post, which I made the following day. It was perfect, as it boldly caught my eye by having the pronouncement, “To My Mother,” on its face. This beautiful work in marble featured a hand-carved flowers shaped like a wreath surrounding the above memorial sentiment. It is located in the historic section of Area H/Lot 397.

The decedent here is a woman named Catharine Michael who died on February 28th, 1858. Research findings were scant.  Catharine was born January 4th, 1804, as Catharine Bernhart, but our cemetery records do not list her parents’ names. On the website Geneanet.com, I found a Catharine Bernard with a birthdate of 1808, the daughter of Luke (1761-1816) and Rebecca Barnard (1770-1826). Could this be her, regardless of birthdate accuracy and spelling of surname?
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Not much else could be gleaned of her birthplace, or about her early life, however I soon learned that in addition to being a mother, our subject was a wife three times over. She first married a man named John Coe on June 2nd, 1820. With a little searching, it appears Mr. Coe died in 1833 at age 41 and is buried at Israel’s Creek Meeting House Cemetery in Walkersville. I found his gravestone and memorial page on FindaGrave.com.

Grave of John Coe in the Israel Creek Meeting House Cemetery (Walkersville)

There is a woman buried to the immediate right of Catharine by the name of Ann Rebecca Norris (1822-1868). I believe this to be the daughter of Catharine and John Coe, even though our records do not list her parents’ names either. However, the responsible party for Catharine’s burial was a son-in-law named J. Lawson Norris. This man is buried next to Catharine—James Lawson Norris (1810-1882) was the husband of Ann Rebecca. The Norris gravestone, of a more recent make and model, states that Mr. Norris was a one-time editor of the Republican Citizen newspaper. This also gives potential support to Catharine giving that name of Rebecca (to her daughter) as a tribute of honoring her own mother (Rebecca Bernhart/Bernard) if that be the case. 

​Catharine next married a gentleman named John Baker. I could not find a date of marriage but I am assuming sometime in 1835 or 1836. A second daughter was born to Catharine on December 13th, 1836 in the form of Caroline Matilda Baker. This woman would marry a man named Albert Mory, and lived later on North Charles Street in Baltimore. She and her husband are buried to the immediate left of “Mother Catharine.”

Caroline M. (Baker) Mory (1836-1896)

The maternal rose between two thorns you could say, but with the sentiment expressed on Catharine’s gravestone, I deduct that they were loving daughters. 

I learned that Catharine lived in Middletown, and was a one-time owner of the west half of Lot#26, now 112 West Main Street. George C. Rhoderick, Jr. in The Early History of Middletown, Maryland states that Catharine Baker purchased this property from a James Cook on March 15th, 1845. (At the time of her death, this property was bequested to Caroline Mory, her daughter. Caroline and husband Albert would eventually sell this to Samuel Brandenburg in 1864.)

John Baker died sometime in the 1840s as Catharine married for a third, and final time, on March 3, 1850. This was to a man named Isaac Michael. Mr. Michael moved took up residence in the former Baker household. She appears with him in the 1850 US Census.

Catharine Michael living in Middletown in the 1850 US Census with 3rd husband Isaac Michael. NOTE: Daughter Caroline and what looks to be a third daughter, Sarah are living with the family at this time.

​I could not locate an obituary for Catharine, but saw that there was a little wrangling over the estate of Mrs. Michael between her daughter and third husband. Looks like Caroline won out from what we know, especially in terms of keeping the house in Middletown. 

Frederick Examiner (March, 1858)

One more stone is here in this lot, and it has the name Bibbins on its face. Here lies Catharine's granddaughter Ruthella Bernard Bibbins (nee Mory). This is Caroline's daughter,and the most telling discovery here is that middle name of Bernard.

Grave of Ruthella Bernard (Mory) Bibbins (1865-1942) wife of Arthur B. Bibbins

Mother’s Day has been all about paying tribute to mothers both on earth and those who have passed since its inception. From a little online research, I learned that starting in ancient times, the Romans and Greeks both had their own festivals to pay tribute to mother goddesses. The Celtic tribes of Europe would honor Brigid, their mother goddess figure. This pre-Christian day of honor was less dedicated to individual mothers and more about mythical figures. The switch came back in 1870 in post-Civil War United States, when author and poet Julia Ward Howe first attempted a celebration with her “Mother’s Day Proclamation.” Her goal was celebrating the mother figures in our lives.

On May 10th, 1908, a lady named Anna Jarvis (1864-1948) picked up where Julia Ward Howe left off by holding a memorial for her mother at St. Andrew’s Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia. Her mother had passed three years earlier. Ann Reeves Jarvis was a social activist during the Civil War, and was a founder of Mothers' Day Work Clubs. Anna was inspired by her mother’s kind and giving nature, seeing that reflected in mothers across the country, stating a mother is “the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world.” 

In 1876, twelve year-old Anna had stated in a prayer after a Sunday school lesson:

"I hope and pray that someone, will found a memorial mothers day commemorating her for the matchless service she renders to humanity in every field of life. She is entitled to it." 

Thirty-eight years later in 1914, Anna petitioned Congress to create a holiday honoring all Mothers. President Woodrow Wilson signed Mother's Day into law and the rest is history.

Anna Jarvis, foundress of Mother's Day

Today, St. Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church is the International Mother's Day Shrine, located in Grafton. This 1910 event marked the first official observance of Mother's Day. ​Jarvis continued to fight for the deeper meaning of the day years later, protesting companies that wanted to make Mother’s Day a for-profit holiday, even getting arrested for “disturbing the peace” while she protested the sale of carnations as gifts for mothers. Her greatest wish was for people to visit their mothers, visit cemeteries, and write letters that came from the heart.

Speaking of letters, about 20 years ago I came across some old letters written by a first cousin to my Great-great grandmother who lived in Delaware City, Delaware. These were written in the 1880s by a Margaret "Maggie" (Gallaway) Davis who also lived in Grafton. My ancestor was much younger than the letters' author and both women's mothers were sisters. Interesting the content of these letters talked primarily about the state of the current mothers, along with other family info as the family was disjointed on account of geography and living so far apart.

I had the opportunity to stay at a place called Terra Alta, WV in October of 2022. This is about 10 miles west of Oakland, MD, not all to far from Deep Creek Lake. Ironically, this was the last place my own mother lived before her death in February, 2019. I decided one afternoon that I would drive an hour southwest to Taylor County and try to find the cemetery that Margaret "Maggie" Davis was buried in hopes to visit her grave. This led me to Bluemont Cemetery in Grafton.

Once there, I started my search for Margaret's grave without knowledge of its location. It was a Sunday, and no one was in the office. Bad planning on my part. As I wandered through hundreds of gravestones on the steep slopes of the mountainside cemetery, I stumbled upon a fascinating memorial. It was that of Ann Reeves Jarvis, Ann's mother. This is where I first learned the story of Mother's Day which I just recounted for you. So very fitting since the my weekend trip was filled with memories of my mom, as this was the first time I had been back to her former home, and place of death since 2019. It's like she was there guiding me through that cemetery, and Mrs. Jarvis' grave perhaps.

Grave of Ann Reeves Jarvis at Bluemont Cemetery (Grafton, WV)

In case you were wondering, I did find the gravesite of my distant relative, Maggie Davis, in the cemetery about 100 yards up on top of the hill, and about a half hour later. Through her letters, this woman helped shed a bit of light on my Great-great grandmother, and more so, on that woman's mother, my Great-great-great grandmother.

Taking a walk through a cemetery, especially ones that have older headstones and memorials, it is not difficult to see how women have been defined through motherhood in the past.  Many headstones and memorials are adorned with the word "Mother," along with poems and quotes that reflect who the particular woman was in life, and what she means to the family in death. In older times, simple inscriptions about her character were common, such as “God-fearing homemaker” or “Hardworking caregiver." Over time, these became more eloquent and many people chose Bible passages exemplifying their role as mother, or using an original poem written by a family member.

This is the story of Catharine Michael and countless others in Mount Olivet in Frederick, Maryland, Bluemont in Grafton, West Virginia, and everywhere else. Good luck with your visitation on Mother's Day if you are making one. If not, keep the memory of yours close, not just on this day, but everyday.

Inscription on Catharine Michael's grave: 

"For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Phillipians 1:21)

(NOTE: Can't make that last passage out, please place in comments below if you can.)